#2: The Hawaii Epiphany

For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamt of living in Hawaii.

Growing up in California, I spent most of my childhood in the water. As a competitive swimmer, I would lie on my back in the pool, staring up at the sky through swaying palm trees and telling myself—just pretend. Pretend you're in Hawaii. Pretend this is your life.

But somewhere along the way, that dream turned into a “someday”—something for other people. People with more money, more freedom, less to risk. I told myself the usual things: it’s expensive, it’s unrealistic, it’s just a fantasy. And for years, I believed that.

But today, something cracked open in me.

I’ve been rereading Plant Over Processed by Earthy Andy, feeling pulled not just to her recipes, but to her way of life. The rhythm, the freshness, the simplicity of being surrounded by nature. And at first, I felt jealous—not of the food, but of the freedom. Of the tropical ease she embodies. And then, this thought landed like a lightning bolt:

This is my one life. Why am I convincing myself that I can’t have the thing I’ve always wanted?

Why not go? Why not try?

Suddenly, the idea wasn’t a faraway dream—it was a real option. I felt the truth of it so deeply that I started sweating from the excitement, literally buzzing with the energy of possibility. I called my boyfriend from the car and pitched it. While he was hesitant, I could feel something shift in me: I was finally ready to stop shrinking my dreams down to fit into what felt “safe.”

Both of us have been tired lately—drained by our current pace, by the noise of life in downtown L.A. We’ve gone to Oahu four years in a row for my birthday, and every time we leave, it feels a little harder to come back. We both love it there. We feel alive there. So why not let that be the next chapter?

What if it doesn’t work out?
What if it changes everything?
What if… it’s exactly what we need?

This is me saying it out loud—I want to move to Hawaii.
Not someday. Not maybe. But within the next year. And I’m open to the how. Because for the first time in a long time, I’m done waiting for permission.